Always stylish and graceful
A lover of nature and her family (right, 1962)
Her Parents
Fintan Oliver Killian, from his Class of 1921 Veterinarian Graduation photo ( below)
Fintan and his brother Gilbert went into practice together in Union City, a suburb of St Louis
At Fintan's funeral, 1939
The Early Years
Lillian and Dick, 1949
Beginning in 2010, I began to nudge John's mother to work on her memoir, which she indicated she was willing to do. Apparently, others were asking her as well.
A few years later, in 2014, I asked if it would help the memoir process to pose questions. To mark the first anniversary of Mother's death, I'm sharing the responses she gave to the questions I asked, with minor editing from me for clarity. I wish I had pushed her on the “Therese” middle name.
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What is your full name, and who were your parents?
Lillian Marie Therese Killian Nelson Mary Linnet Nesslein Killian and Fintan Oliver Killian.
Is there a story to go with your parents’ choice of name? Did they have a nickname for you?
I was named for my two grandmothers: Mary Ann Schindler Killian, Mary Lillian Shelby Nesslein. I had no nickname, however I was born at the time of double names and was always called Lillian Marie until I went to school. I think that in high school my name was shortened to Lillian by my friends, but my mother always used the two names. Just Lillian in college.
When and where were you born? Is there a story to go with your mother’s pregnancy and your birth? Are you the oldest among your parents' children?
I was born in University City, a suburb west of St. Louis where my mother and father lived. I never heard any stories concerning Mother's pregnancy. I was the second child, my older brother, Clyde Valerian, died at about 3 months from an insect bite, they always said it was a spider.
How did your parents come to live in the town you were born in? Did you have extended family in the area?
My mother and father both grew up on farms in Perry county, Missouri. Daddy went to veterinary school in Kansas. He specialized in small animals when he started practice. St. Louis was the city he went to. St. Louis is about 100 miles north of Perryville. After a year or two, he opened his office in University City. At the time no other family lived there, but later Daddy's brother, Gilbert, also a veterinarian, went into practice with him. Later, Gilbert went on his own, also in a suburb of St.L called Webster Groves. During the depression, Mother's parents and brothers moved to St.L. Grandfather was not a very good farmer. Mother said so. When the depression hit, they moved to StL to work. Therefore, Mother's five brothers grew up and went to high school in St.L, married and raised their families there, and we had many relatives near us.
Daddy's work, like John’s, kept him close to home. Women didn't drive, and besides, we had only one car, so there was not a lot of visiting. Most people had only one car at that time. No one had much money. These were depression days.......bread lines, many people out of work. However, we were never hungry or without clothes.
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There’s much to be learned from the above. Regarding the “Lillian Marie” naming, I remember Grandmother Linnet being quite insistent that she didn’t have “Lillian Killian” in mind as her daughter’s name. It wasn’t just Lillian, but Lillian Marie! I smile thinking about that.
After receiving the above responses, it was pointed out to me that another had already initiated a similar question and answer correspondence with Mother to create a memoir, so I didn’t go further with the project.
- Her Daughter in Law
Comments from Family and Friends on Lillian's Passing
Our dearest Lillian served as our backbone for daily mass, Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, Divine Mercy services, Bible Study, and Stations of the Cross. Rain or shine, you could count on her presence. She was a very saintly person. My fondest memory of Lillian is that she always tied special fly's for me when I would go trout fishing. We will always remember our dear Lillian.
Richard Volpe
My Aunt Lillian was always the light in any room. She had a easy, infectious laugh and loved to be in a large group. When I was very young I thought of her as a western pioneer type woman. There was no activity she would not do whether hiking, fishing, hunting, cooking outdoors. Etc. Some very special memories
Jim Nelson (Lillian's nephew, Don's son)
Comments from the First Anniversary, March 31, 2022
Dear Cousins,
Just want you to know that I am thinking of you today, the anniversary of your mom’s death. It’s so hard to wrap my mind around that it’s been a year. I can only imagine that the weird time warp of feeling simultaneously that a hundred years has passed and it was just moments ago that she was here is even stronger for you all.
To the end, your mom had a get-up-and-go, can-do spirit. So much positive energy! And such independent capability. Whether it was gardening, sewing, knitting, fishing, organizing Ranch and ski trips, or pulling together family occasions, your mom marched ahead and got it done, and done well.
The day of the funeral, my mom and I drove up early to participate in the rosary that your mom likes to attend every morning. I think it was my first rosary in over 50 years! But I loved the idea that we were somehow connecting in spirit with your mom that morning. (My mom also recited one first thing each day; we said one together in the morning before she went into her procedure.) Channeling their spirits, I have recently said rosaries on my long Saturday runs and will dedicate this Saturday’s to Aunt Linny and you all.
Much love,
Nancy (Lillian's niece)
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Dear Nancy,
What a lovely note! Thank you so much for thinking of all of us. It has been a year of many family losses that I feel sharply including that of your own dear mother.
I miss Lillian so much, especially her cheer. She was such a cheerful greeter on the phone or when you walked into her house. You always knew that she was glad to see you or to hear from you.
I think of you and your brothers a lot as you take care of your mother’s affairs. Having lost your mother and ours so close together magnifies the loss. I miss them both very much.
Thanks so much for reaching out and remembering Lillian and all of us. I really appreciate the dedication of the rosary to her. I know she loves it.
Love and hugs,
Brenda
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Thank you so much for your loving thoughts and warm connection. It is such a sad weird time. I can't think of my Mom without thinking of vibrant Aunt Mary Lou too. Oh, to have list them both in the same year. It's just too much
I so appreciate your love,
MaryAnn Nelson
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She was a fine lady. I loved our visits. I thought a lot of them. I'm sure they are all having a family reunion in heaven.
I hope you and your family are well. I'm doing great.
Hugs,
Donna (Lillian's sister in law, married to Joe Nelson)
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I will always remember you wonderful mom….kind, considerate and always smiling.
Best
Dick Stoltz (Grandmother Aida Nelson's great newphew, from Carmel)
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The ‘ōhiʻa seedling I planted in her honor on April 1st is doing well. Maybe in another year it will be taller than the blanket of uluhe fern surrounding the seedling.
Mālama pono,
Paul
Comments from the Second Anniversary, March 31, 2023
Dear Mary Ann, David, John, Mike and Bill,
I've been thinking of your mom this week. What a great spirit she had! Positive, no matter the circumstances. Willing to try new things. Brave. Encouraging.
She taught you all so much, not only directly instructing, but through her example. You are all amazingly self-reliant and resilient, just like she was.
Bill, she was sure lucky after your dad died to have you as both helper and daily companion.
It's been two years, but I bet it feels both like she died yesterday and like forever since you last heard her voice, or felt her hug.
Your mom is irreplaceable.
Love to all of you,
Nancy